The Confession

I found myself in front of my laptop. Again. I glanced at the clock. It was 6 o'clock in the morning. I didn't think about the time, I just chuckled and continued to chat with my online American and Austrailian friends.

Freedom. It was six o'clock, but who cared? Mum, dad, my two bossy siblings, they were all in school. Ha, I loved the freedom, abused it too. It was good to go to afternoon school. No one to hound you. No one to nag. My homework was still, after two days, strewn, unfinished, on the floor. Yes. The floor.

I looked at the 6 foot mirror that dad got me for my 13th birthday. I looked like a panda. Well, not as fat as one, in fact, I looked almost anorexic. It was the black eyes (or the black bags under my eyes), the ones that were so obvious on my pale skin which reminded me of a panda. I ignored the continuous growling that came from my stomach. My mouth was dry and my bladder was full.

Internet was a drug, my drug. The life in which there was no hunger, no pain. It was my secret, my private life. It was cool to let people think I was 19 or 24 years old. It felt great to be respected, to have people take your advice, to be trusted. I had an active account on every single virtual site, I chatted, blogged, sold stuff on E-bay. You name it, I did it.

Hours passed without me noticing. I finally got up and went downstairs. I threw out the breakfast that mum made for me. It was way past breakfast time anyway. The porridge from Food Avenue was pretty satisfying, but half of it went to the dog.

I struggled. My homework piled up. My health deteriorated. My real life was gone. My big dreams were dashed. Until someone came, and changed it all. He changed everything, He changed me and made me what I am today.

He was, and is God.